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Our Minds Are A Zoo

by Alex Tulp

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1.
The boy I was ten years ago wouldn't recognize the man that I've become would he have faith in where Im going? would He be proud of what I've done? No telling where I'm headed, but time sure has took it's toll if theres one thing that I'm certain of, its surely theres something above and lord knows I need some help the girl she was ten years ago wouldn't recognize who she is now she dug deep and buried the pain of past days, but sometimes it finds its way out moments when she's all alone, tears well up in her eyes mistakes she made so long ago, somehow still can make her cry no telling wheres she's headed now she oprefers it that way the common ground in all our lives is the pain we carry around inside it seems to cut us like a knife The boy I was ten years ago wouldn't recognize the man that I've become would he have faith in where Im going? would He be proud of what I've done? No telling where I'm headed, but time sure has took it's toll if theres one thing that I'm certain of, its surely theres something above and lord knows I need some help
2.
I been banking on an early death it'd be the perfect way to escape my debts Im outta whiskey women and cigarettes my heads been written checks my heart can't cash lord take me when you need me, I'm ready to go i been banking on that redirect, i wanna get these thoughts out of my head i need a woman that will take my hand tell me ill be fine as i run through sand i built a fortress inside my heart but it peirced my lung and i couldn't thwart the fluid seeped through my filthy shirt and it stained my hands and soaked up the dirt lord take me when you need me, I'm ready to go i figure time is just a measurement for the inadequate to shape their ways and if time is just a gauge of hope ill use my remaining days to embrace the love i been trying to put my mind to rest, give my back a break get shit off my chest its been harder than i could have guessed, maybe nows the time that ill divest lord take me when you need me, I'm ready to go i been focused on significance i think ill shift my aim to the indigent maybe then ill get out of my mind and reprioritize whats really important I been banking on an early death it'd be the perfect way to escape my debts Im outta whiskey women and cigarettes my heads been written checks my heart can't cash lord take me when you need me, I'm ready to go
3.
the sun went down in a north shore sky he left the porch light on as he poured that rye another day done another check been cashed as he set out to forget it with another glass the sun rose quicker than it had set the sledgehammers went to work inside his head now he picks himself up off the kitchen floor he made it only three steps before he took one more just a drink to get by just one more for the pain thats what he told himself to start everyday next week ill run dry and hang it up for a bit or maybe when the leaves fall ill just downright quit if he drank to remember he wouldn't drink at all he liked his memory thick as the morning fog so he drank to forget all his past mistakes and that lonely heart self deprecating phase next week it'd be to late for him to change his ways he went and crashed his half ton the very next day the mama of three he took with him that night she never had a chance in that cold moonlight just a drink to get by just one more for the pain thats what he told himself to start everyday next week ill run dry and hang it up for a bit or maybe when the leaves fall ill just downright quit the whiskey it keeps the drinker numb he's too ashamed to let on his condition he held tight to his bottle like the soldier his gun keeps on writing his own prescriptions
4.
The air was cold so the car wouldn't start it was the third time this week i kicked her back into park with a chill on my neck and love in my heart i set out without thinking too hard my boots stiffened uo from the frost in the air the bare skin on my head seemed to long now for hair the burdens of life they found me worse for the wear i may struggle but who said that this life would be fair? the lessons I've learned, nobody can teach theres a whole world that doesn't revolve around me there are people who are willing to die just to see a day knowing what i means to be truly free it took me fifteen years just to make it this far to realize you can't put your faith in them stars and if your debt went unpaid, and your bellied up to the bar it may just be time to reassess who you are fortune lives on the corner beyond, though its just out of reach for my neighbor still she joins in when i song all my song cause she knows that loves in her favor she sings here i am a woman of the lord she took my hand and held it tight she said boy don't go thinking you're better than most the only truth comes from whats inside hallelujah set me free don't give a damn about the cold cause I'm alive hallelujah save my soul, in the end no-one can say that i didn't try
5.
I could live my life penniless but i won't remain a broken mess i could squander my dreams on love and bets but I'm done filling my cup up with regrets cause I've had years of trial and error i made the same mistakes a lot but when the time came, it came as no surprise that i can't even have a drop i can't even have a drop i can't even shoot that shot so ill just sit back, relax and smoke my cigarette and ill smile to myself as i watch it aint like i don't still love her it aint like i want to forget its just that bottle of gin, takes me for a spin and she don't care when i want her to stop
6.
I like donuts, cigarettes and iced tea i love puppies, but i prefer kitties i like guitars and riding on two wheels i love women, the one i gots the real deal i like fast cars, and sleeping with a fan i like money, but i hate the word cash i like steak sauce, but don't put it on my steak i like notebooks, they keep my thoughts in one place i like pumpkins carved with a disney theme i like skateboards, and antenna tv i like shotguns and head babies laugh i love walking down that unbeaten path i like hand tools and peanut butter toast i like jackets, they're my favorite kinda clothes i like cartoons, not as much as i once did i love laughing cause it makes me feel like a kid i like football bar soup and string cheese i like big hugs, go on give me a good squeeze i like sunshine and a glass of iced cold beer but i quit drankin now my visions so clear i like heartfelt notes left on the counter top i love liquor, but i didn't know when to stop i like mixed nuts and reclining chairs i like ball caps and teddy bears i like antiques, soda and strings i like work boots and wearing a pinky ring i like warm gloves and making snowmen and getting mail sent to me by a friend i like justice, and i love planned parenthood i like pencils, and chopping fiorewood i like sleeping, but i don't get top much i like oranges, but i don't fuck with trump i like john wayne, and hogans heroes i love lucy, but i hate raymond this song gotta end somewhere and it will be now
7.
Her 03:07
Her laugh her smile her eyes the way she dances late at night the way her hair smells every morning when i wake up at her side her jokes her gaze her hands how did i become her man? she so damn gorgeous that i feel sorry for any woman who dare stand Her heart her mind her trust have on another level touched a part of me that i once knew but it had since become to rust her lips her touch her love so deep in me they've dug the learning curve is far too stteep, but i won't question it too much her life her pride her ways seem more perfect everyday a constant source of motivation though her happenings she radiates her tears her ache her hurt anything to damage her self worth id rather bear a load ten times her pain than have her suffer through a single day her moods her voice her past things that made her grow up too fast made a woman i cast resist, and a love i hope will forever last her its her that i want, its her that i love its her that i need its just her
8.
He was on his own with only his debts to his name, ut otherwise on his own he thought he'd head out west see the mountains for himself then on to california like the rest it was 19 years ago that he left home she she was on her own with only her pain to her name yea but otherwise on her own she thought shed head out east see the empire state and the lady liberty he asked will you write me still? will you keep a place for me inside your heart? does this change it all, or have i ruined what id never starting was 19 years ago when he walked away he wondered if she even remembered his name he had wed and divorced twice can't seem to keep a steady job he lost custody of his child she had success with her career went and got her PHD in law, while raising her daughter all alone and she still thinks of him does he keep a place for her inside his heart? what could their lives had been, if shed told him from the start? it was 19 years ago when she gave birth but she never told him, he was the father...
9.
Keep me close, fight the temptation to guard both our hearts no need for hesitation im not leaving if you're not ill stay forever if you let me don't give up on what we've got, don't neglect or forget me i see so much more than the potential for heartache i see a life together and the family we could make i love your faults and all your value they're a part of ho you are don't have to worry i won't hurt you in the black night you're my north star don't be afraid ill hold you up i won't let you fall unless its deeper in love ill help ease your pain and do my best to not cause more sharing love and happiness is what i am here for when times get hard we just go the extra mile, to the other side back to cuddling and smiles you're worth all that i can give, and even more than that i waited my whole life to meet you i know this to be a fact i feel you in my heart even when you're not around i see your smile i hear your voice the most beautiful sight and sound lying in your arms, theres no place id rather be nothing can compare to the love shared by you and me Keep me close, fight the temptation to guard both our hearts no need for hesitation im not leaving if you're not ill stay forever if you let me don't give up on what we've got, don't neglect or forget me i see so much more than the potential for heartache i see a life together and the family we could make i love your faults and all your value they're a part of ho you are don't have to worry i won't hurt you in the black night you're my north star
10.
Mom's 02:52
You walked a million miles, carried me on your back all my life i have searched for a way to pay you back to provide support and love you go beyond and above you're an angel if i ever met one and I'm so glad that I'm your son i came from your body you stitched me up piece by piece i cannot fully express how much you mean to me you're worth more than gold and one day when you're old even if you can't remember my name ill always love you just the same Its a shoulder to cry on or a laugh that we share i know I'm never alone, you will always be there one day ill have children and they will admire you your love is the kind ill always try and live up too you'd give the shirt off your back for a stranger in need you taught me to love and to always see the good in the people whose hearts cross our way lead by example giving love everyday i came from your body you stitched me up piece by piece i cannot fully express how much you mean to me you're worth more than gold and one day when you're old even if you can't remember my name ill always love you just the same
11.
The breeze Kept the time while i picked my old six string the wake of that seaworthy craft slapped the shire i couldn't help feel my cares wash away now so i lit one up my baby sleeping next door the weight of my troubles were carried away in the smoke clouds sweet scent of tobacco it cut through the air a love in my heart that can't be written on paper came out in this song that i sit here and share the way she looks at me would bring any man right to his knees the way she gave me her heart saved me own she found the man that i had long forgotten gave him a chance that saved his soul
12.

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Put my heart into this one. Hope you dig.

credits

released November 30, 2016

Fiddle played by Tamara Maluda on tracks 3, 4 and 8.
Mouth harp played by Rick "Reed King" Dropik on tracks 6 and 11.
Guest vocal by Mallory Ruth Johnson on Track 10.
Songs 9 and 10 co-written with Mallory Ruth Johnson.

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Alex Tulp Saint Paul, Minnesota

Alex is a songwriter out of Saint Paul Minnesota. Also a member of the Saint Paul based band The Friendly Beers.

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