Get all 5 Alex Tulp releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Greg's Song, Use The Pain, Dance On My Grave, Our Minds Are A Zoo, and Cool Cats Read Books.
1. |
Heart Won't Feel
03:50
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I remember a day not so very long ago
when my youth seemed to be everlasting
with each passing year my face continues to show
a weariness my age has been casting
made clear in my eyes
with a glance at our lives
we keep rushing to finish the tasks at hand
all while ignoring the fact
that we've been living a lie
and refusing to follow our path
a heart won't feel
what a heart can't see
instead a heart will feed upon regret
and when the heart has had it's fill
you will find out what it needs
until then
a heart will not forget
maybe it's time to get in touch with my inner alcoholic
picking my guitar and sipping a beer
philosophizing bout religion and politics
all the things from which I should steer clear
a heart won't feel what a heart can't see
instead a heart will feed upon regret
and when the heart has had it's fill
you'll find out what it needs
until then, the heart will not forget
I need a cocaine break
a sip of some alcohol
I've been down this road to many times before
and I won't run
more than them
they don't know how to love
but I'll teach them all
every last one
then I am done
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2. |
Hoarders on Netflix
03:29
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It's a friday night, I'm watching Hoarders on Netflix
the lamp is bright and my cigarette is lit too
life is good
I'ma worry bout my problems in the morning
It's a monday night and I got a brand new jacket
I wore it out when I went downtown
this afternoon
so I'ma worry bout my problems come the morning
I realize I drink to much
my problem's underlying yes I know
I've heard it all before
Don't think I'm in denial wishing, waiting on someone to fix my soul
I got it under control
It's a monday night and I got a girl who loves me
I know this because she always tells me so
Life is good
I'm worry bout my problems come the morning
another monday night and my Kitty cats purring
he kept me all night with his loud chirping too
I still love that fool
I'm worry bout my problems come the morning
I realize I drink too much
my problems underlying yes I know
I've heard it all before
don't think I'm in denial wishing
waiting on someone to fix my soul
I got it under control
I can;t wait any longer
I gotta let you know that I am blessed and I zm grateful
for everything you do
you let me be all the things
that I need to be
knowing you got my back makes things easier on me
and if there's anything you ever need done I'd drop the world right on it's ass and run
because you'd do that for me
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3. |
Forty Days
05:24
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Forty days they had struggled under the midwestern sky
the sun shown on sidewalks
the neighbors raised their flags high
it appears at face value
to be the time of their lives
beneath the surface though, they'd struggle
just to get by
a baby in the playpen with another one on the way
mama's getting awful weary of them ten hour days
daddy's working doubles
but they can't seem to scrape
enough money to feed the young one and still get them bills paid
they made it through the winter
as harsh as it had been
8 times, count em 8 times mama's car got plowed in
and she'd struggle just to shovel
while that baby kicked inside
an extra weight that she carried with a face full of pride
when the day had come, daddy, he knew what he had heard
there'd been talk for some weeks now, he figured it might be his turn
but when he walked into that office
he nearly broke down and cried
they handed him his pink slip
and thanked him for his time
they managed through the springtime to keep food upon their plates
but they knew though it was inevitable just a matter of days
and when the time came, they seen him
approach through the gate
the sheriff served them up the papers they lost their home to the bank
forty days they had struggled
under a midwestern sky
in the end though, they decided it would be best not to cry
they packed up their bags and moved on with their lives
another chapter complete
as they waved that old house bye bye
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4. |
God Damn
03:39
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God damn, It smells like winter
but ain't yet the first of November
the birds quit singing weeks ago
the seasons chill now finds my bones
the sun can't seem to keep awake
long enough to light my way
so i strike a match, spark my smoke
the world becomes my ashtray
God damn it smells like spring time
but in truth she's far away
I'm searching for that silver line
to guide my burnout ways
I reached out for the bottle
it never failed to comfort me
I made it empty with one swallow, gave in to whatI need
I never knew that it would feel like this
when I woke up today without the itch
My head is feeling clear and now I'm breathing strong
my heart is light now, all day long
and I'll be stepping up and righting wrongs
pushing boundaries playing songs
the motivation
it just might come
stepping up and righting wrongs
pushing boundaries singing songs
the motivation it just might come
I'll sip it up...
God damn it sounds like happiness
a baby laughs while mama lets him
throw his food
around his treaty
she's smiling while she wipes away
the mess he made across that plate
no shame in a child's play
because she knows that he will grow up right
big and strong and extra bright
GOD DAMN
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5. |
She Did Me Dirty
03:27
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I drove to see my baby in the pouring rain
I'm speeding down the roadway hoping to make her day
and when I pulled up to that house I just couldn't wait to see her face
but when I walked up in that doorway
she was in another man's embrace
I swore to myself no woman would ever treat me like this
when I walked up out that house I called her a low down dirty bitch
I ain't condoning talking to a lady like that
but she just ain't no lady
man that's a fact
she did me dirty
ripped my pour heart clean into two
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6. |
Can't Hang On
04:37
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Today is the one
this time I know
because the weight on my heart and my soul isn't there anymore
so I smile
don't want nobody grief
even though now my journey is ending I feel so relieved
and I know that if you were here
you'd hold my hands
and whisper comforting words in my ear trying to make me laugh
just remember though
that I'm ready to go
I've been prepared so long now, I just still want you to know
that I tried, I tried to wait
I tried, I tried to wait
But I can't hang on
remember this though
I'll always be with you
I'll remain in your heart and my spirit will be there no matter what destinations you choose
it's just that
I'm ready, so ready to leave
just know that I held out as long as I could possibly
I tried, I tried to wait
know that I tried, I tried to wait
But I can't hang on
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7. |
GUILTY
03:18
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drank a little whiskey late last night
tried to chase this pain from my skull
but everybody knows it's all this booze that impairs my inspiration so
I smoked myself stupid then instead
I couldn't find the focus for my head
to motivate the mind I value so
and stimulate these fingers just to show
G
U
I
L
T
Y
that boy's guilty as sin
thesaurically speaking is my crutch
am I trying to articulate to much?
am I just in over my head, or is the dream now finally dead?
I thought I had the drive to make this work, but then uncertainty began it's dirty lurk, creeping up softly
on the streets trying to overwhelm me
the whiskey found it's way back in my cup
I feel the shame building in my gut
another day with yet nothing made
maybe I just haven't drank enough
G
U
I
L
T
Y
that boys guilty as sin
I caught my mind wandering again
waiting on reality to set in
but everybody knows it's all this hate
that blinds our nations eyes through every sin
I took a minute tried to collect my thoughts
and piece together a substance driven plot
but everybody knows that I can't write
my brains slowly pacing at a trot
I wanna be profound with the words I say
differently perceive the events of a day
a day in which the world only seems to take
the simple pleasures life has passed our way
G
U
i
L
T
Y
that boys guilty as sin
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8. |
Slaughter the Lamb
04:54
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He joined the service to make them proud
without any prospects that boy set out on his way
to defend the lives of those he knew not
a noble mission was what he thought
as the day approached that his ship would sale
he dreamt of living a warriors tale
he dreamt of nights spent in foreign lands
receiving letters that were written by hand
before he left, he imagined his return
the parade they throw when he got back
all the culture he may learn
it was a fantasy constructed by the architect of his mind
surely it was beautiful, poetic, one of a kind
his elation slowly melted into fear
the day he left his small town mama shed her tears
he did his best to mask his worries and wear a soldiers face
tried his hardest to comfort mama as they shared one last embrace
not barely 18, but already a man
the war quickly hardened his heart and hands
to survive meant to kill, to kill meant to damn
his soul int the process, they slaughtered the lambs
if the army gave him something that was from above
it was the soldiers beside him
their brotherly love
one in particular went by the name of paul
they shared common ground, they both loved the fall
they'd swap stories of youth, women and booze
of the innocence that had long left their group
as the days turned to weeks and the weeks they just kept piling up
the more grateful they grew of each others love
barley 18 but already a man
the war quickly
hardened their heart and hands
to survive meant to kill
to kill meant to damn
their souls in the process
they slaughtered the lambs
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9. |
Ain't Easy Bein a Drunk
02:28
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I watched my friends dry up, yet my cup stays full
though I must admit that I've tried to quit a time or two
It ain't easy no, no, no
Bein a drunk
I watched my funds dry up, yet my fridge stays full
Keeping an eye on the clock
I can't wait till I get home
it ain't easy no, no no, been a drunk
I find heartache knocking up on my door with more consistency than I can afford
but I keep on coming back for more...
It ain't easy
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10. |
Water
03:32
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I fought the current from the bank of the shore
I wade in deep to gauge it's chill some more
when at last it seemed like my body could take on the water
I eased in slow, I eased in slow
beneath the surface where I felt no pain
the rip swirled gently, again and again
drag me deep and wash me clean
fill my lungs and let them burst a seem
when the oxygen had escaped my brain
I felt no pain, I felt no pain
that was a test, the real thing now arrives
do I possess a will to survive?
Felt like a dream but I couldn't tel
played the best I could with the hands was dealt
the choir was singing and the angels descend,
asked for a thousand down and the first month's rent
I said "hey, what the hell man? since when does heaven charge the guest?"
she said boy this ain't no vacation home you gotta earn your keep here
with what you've done
I pled my case, of lack of wealth
they advised me now to insure my health
said if you ain't got no money you ain't getting a bed
you better turn back around boy, the way you came in
so I did it slow, I did it slow
My pride became a tail between my legs and I walked right out
empty handed
reached for a smoke and I forgot they were soaked
but God damn I sure as hell now needed a toke
my throat was numb and my mind was shot
the days events had left me thinking a lot about
all the places that I've never been
everything I have left to express
all the people that I've never met and each of my sins that I'd like to forget
if at the end of the day, we ain't made our beds we can't expect someone to share our regrets
thise of you that are cozy and fed, you gotta ease in slow
those of you that are cozy in bed, you gotta ease in slow
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11. |
Wear My Smile
02:43
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There's a hole in my shoe and I'm walking right through puddles
a girl who I love
and boy she like to cuddle
let the smoke fill my lungs I push it through my nostrils
all while I wear my smile
I got a wardrobe that's filled with shit from '05
a guitar to pick when I don't wanna get high
a fridge full of beer but I don't feel like drinking
I just wanna wear my smile
They might be used, but they're as good as new
one size fits all, talking tried and true
yea, I'll wear my smile
got a box full of books that i read for my pleasure
bags full of sand in my truck for winter weather
full tank of gas now just for good measure
now i gotta find my smile
I got a yearly subscription to sports illustrated
don't know where it came from
hell I don't even read it
I just toss it in the trash, go on about my business
yeah, I'll find my smile
they might be used but they were good as knew
one size fits all talking tried and true
yea, I'll share my smile
Cause i Know who I am
and what I've got to give the world
and I know it ain't much
but I'mma keep on trying
cause thats more than enough
to keep my face smiling
yeah, that's more than enough for me
I got eight ragged couches to rest my weary bones on
an old ratty roof to keep my shit from getting rained on
a rusty water heater that keeps my showers warm
I just gotta find my smile...
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12. |
Italy on my Mind
04:05
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Italy on my mind
I'm wishfully thinking young
Italy on my mind
I wait all every day to go
but as the years they pass
it was then I realized
that all I need is you at my side
It was the second of the month
December 1961
when two kids tied the knot
not knowing then just what they had done
and as the years went passed
they began to realize
the family they had raised had now raised families of their own
and they hoped their sons and daughter could feel the pride they've always known
when I got you hear with me
I feel young and I feel free
when it's you thats next to me
Ain't a place in the world that I'd rather be
but as the years went passed
it was more plain for me to see
in our hearts, we're already in Italy
and I knew then that
it was perfect
just to wrap you in my arms
and I knew then that
i'll always love you
until the day we leave this world
But until then o
please say you'll let me
uphold the vows to have and to hold
inside our hearts
we can travel
anywhere that we want to go
I know you always wanted to go...
so lets go...
to,
Italy in our minds
I'm wishfully thinking young
Italy in our minds
As the years they passed,
it was then I realized
our love is everlasting and all I need is you, you at my side
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Alex Tulp Saint Paul, Minnesota
Alex is a songwriter out of Saint Paul Minnesota. Also a member of the Saint Paul based band The Friendly Beers.
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